One of the biggest problems is that when people are ruled by their desires, or lusts, instead of being connected to their true feelings, they become obsessed with externals, and find it very difficult to move out of the realm of superficial materialism, success and status symbols and into the realm of true freedom of spirit, love and gratitude.
This means that their relationships, including even their closest relationship with their spouse, can easily become cold and superficial, based more on mutual gratification than a true binding of souls.
This can be very, very lonely and depressing, regardless of how ‘perfect’ their lives may look to outsiders.
An obsession with acquiring more possessions, or eating in the classiest restaurants, or having the 'coolest' holidays or most talked-about celebrations can frequently lead people to indulge themselves with money they don't have, or to push themselves beyond breaking point in order to 'keep up appearances'.
So one big emotional issue is superficiality and an obsession with materialism.
Depression, dissatisfaction and ingratitude
Bitterness, dissatisfaction and ingratitude are a couple of other big, flashing red signs that the energy in this area is out of balance – and when you think about it a little, that makes perfect sense. Until and unless a person's true feelings are recognised and validated, nothing else is going to satisfy them, or fill the hole in their soul, and this feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction is often at the root of marriages going sour.
So why is this happening?
Often, these 'inner children' get stuck because of traumatic experiences growing up that haven't been properly processed, acknowledged and dealt with. Often, they grew up with parents who were immature, abusive and / or neglectful, and rarely if ever put their children’s needs ahead of their own. They may even have been bought every toy and item of clothing under the sun, but the superficial materialism didn’t fill the emotional hole left by a lack of unconditional love, caring and acceptance from the parent.
Until these suppressed feelings are released, allowing the person to connect back to this younger part of themselves, and to connect back to God, and can start to properly heal, it can lead to behaviour where the person is simultaneously indulging their whims and negative desires, but feeling bad, guilty and ashamed about doing so.
When Deeper Need 2, gratitude, is weak or out of balance, this often curtails our sense of joyful spontaneity and creativity, frequently leading to a profound sense of bitterness and disillusionment with life, that paves the way for depression, despair and other associated negative emotions.
Other related emotional issues
Other emotional issues that can result from a lack of gratitude and being cut off from our true feelings can include:
- A sense of vulnerability;
- Manipulative behaviours (like those typically found in younger children),
- Over-sensitivity and general irritability
- A sense of being stuck playing a part or keeping up appearances
- A lack of compassion and empathy for others; unable to see things from other people’s point of view.
All of this can also occur when people are weighed down by the burdens, chores, work and social engagements they feel they 'should' engage in, in order to be an external 'success' – even though really, it’s killing them.
In the next post, we’ll take a look at some of the physical issues associated with Deeper Need 2: Gratitude